A field guide to townhall agitators and extremists

Following up on her tour de force about legitimate questions lies and disinformation posed by concerned citizens exercising their first amendment rights insurance-company stooges and Nazis:

Former ABC Obamaton reporter Linda Douglas pens a guest editorial for Iowahawk to expand on her video and provides a field guide to Town Hall Mob Agitators:

Know Your Town Hall Mob Agitators!

By Linda Douglass
Deputy Assistant Under-Minister of Truth
White House Health Care Task Force

Greetings citizen! By now you may have heard scattered rumors of state and party officials encountering reactionary resistors at local health care reform information programs. Do not be alarmed, for our 5-year plan for citizen health proceeds without delay. Remain stalwart! The truth can be told at last, that these so-called “protests” are merely the desperate rear flank mob actions of dead-end bandits and saboteurs in the pay of enemy insurance agents.

Pay them no heed, for these outside agitators in no way represent any threat to our great patriotic push forward for increased citizen heathfulness! These well-dressed prep school gangsters of reaction seek only to frighten and demoralize and intimidate you, with their confusing “facts” and hob-nailed Sperry Topsiders. Unfortunately they are joined in conspiracy by a well-financed network of unlicensed blogs and talk radio traitors, who exaggerate their numbers and percolate disinformation — even cleverly staged YouTube videos of an impostor President Obama saying “quotes”!

Remain strong, citizen, for the day of their comeuppance is near! Patriotic spontaneous volunteers from MoveOn.org, Organizing For America, HCAN, SEIU, AFSCME, ACORN, NPR, and MSNBC have all pledged independent grassroots efforts to spread the word about the health-hating tricksters and their transparent astroturf agitation campaign!

You too can help by remaining ever-vigilant for health traitors in your local sectors. But beware: though small in number the state health reform enemy is clever, and well trained in subterfuge and disguise by his monopolist paymasters. Your job is to recognize his signs, and report any fishy-seeming protest or blog activities to me or other official authorities within the Health Care Truth Ministry. Here is a visual training course to help you in the execution of this important patriotic duty.

Study and learn, and report all wrong-thinkers, such as me and Tito… (‘ey! I just do the videos around here! -Tito Don’t try and deny it, you agitator.) …to flag@whitehouse.gov, home of the new White House enemies list.

Carry on, Citizen. Courage.  Chicken

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3 Responses to A field guide to townhall agitators and extremists

  1. This may help you and your readers…

    I have taken the liberty [hah!] of translating this:

    There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.

    back into the original Newspeak:

    So, if you know anyper engaged in crimethink, who has malquoted the Admin, who dares speakwrite untruth about Goodhealth, who believes in Oldthink, who thinks Miniplenty is ungood, who commits facecrime at a townhall: this is all doubleplusungood and you must report it to Miniluv at flag@whitehouse.govbecause these prols are unmutual and must be speedsent to joycamps.

    Cordially…Bob

  2. [...] the Mob Continuing our efforts to ensure that all right-thinking (not Right-thinking) citizens anxious to learn more about our [...]

  3. jo lewis says:

    Dear right=think: I have several other missions right now, but keep me up to date. I would go to a
    meeting but I don’t have a thing to wear. You say the economy’s lookin up?

    Jo

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