Tweet of the Day, #LAquake edition

March 17, 2014
"Even the monkey is embarrassed"

“Even the monkey is embarrassed”

So, as you probably all heard, we had a light earthquake near Public Secrets Global HQ this morning (1). Not a bad one, though I was near the epicenter and upstairs, so it was still a good ride. But, if you’ve lived in California for your whole life, as I have, it’s also nothing you haven’t been through, before. A momentary “uh-oh” as you wonder if this is the lead in to The Big One, and then back to whatever you were doing as it fades away. And I figured my fellow Angelenos would feel the same way. After all, did we not laugh and point when D.C. had their quake?

Then I saw this (via Twitchy):

Really, people? “Hello? Operator? I’d like to report an earthquake. Would you please send someone out to arrest it?”

Tourists. Yeah, that’s it. It must be tourists.

PS: While we laugh at each other and ourselves, let’s remember that earthquakes are serious business, and it’s our own individual responsibility to be prepared for when a bad one hits; help from the government may take days to arrive, after all. Earthquake Country is a good site with before, during, and after advice.

Footnote:
(1) I deny any and all rumors that I was conducting below-ground atomic testing. Pay no attention to that small radioactive cloud…

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


Over two-thirds of the continental USA covered with snow

February 7, 2014

Phineas Fahrquar:

If only we had listened to Al Gore and signed Kyoto, we wouldn’t be suffering this horrid warming! Wait…

Originally posted on Watts Up With That?:

Readers may recall our story from Dec 15th, 2013: Over half the USA covered in snow, the most in 11 years

Now, it’s even more. See the map and the 3D image:

View original 147 more words


(Video) The 12 Banned Items of Christmas

December 26, 2013
I said, no fun allowed!

No guacamole on the flight!

So, okay, it’s now the day after Christmas, but there’s still a lot of traveling going on, so ReasonTV has created this video guide to those things the TSA will and will not let you take along on a flight.

(Slightly R-rated)

There, that clears things up, doesn’t it? And it’s so nice to know the TSA has thought this list through so carefully.

Happy flying!


Caption this: the Cruz-McCain death glare

December 12, 2013

Via Twitchy. The only question I have is “Is Cruz about to launch into some crazy kung fu moves, or activate his heat-beam death ray eyes on McCain?”

Click on the photo for a larger version. Feel free to add your own caption in the comments.

"Awkward..."

“Awkward…”

Ever get the feeling these two don’t like each other? smiley chicken


#Obamacare: If we bought coffee the way we now buy health insurance

December 10, 2013

Via David Freddoso, this is a funny little satire of what we’re now experiencing under the Affordable Care Act:

Quote:

“Ha-ha-ha! Of course it’s a free country! Or, we like to tell people that…”

Scary thing is, I worry Starbucks might go for this…

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


(Video) Hitler finds out he can’t keep the doctor he likes

November 22, 2013

And Der Fooey is not happy:

“If only the National Socialist German Workers Party was considered  a labor union!” Heh. smiley giggle

via Power Line


(Video) #Obamacare: Hitler learns his policy has been cancelled

November 10, 2013
"Don't worry, Beni. Obama said if we like our plan, we can keep our plan."

“Don’t worry, Beni. Obama said if we like our plan, we can keep our plan.”

via Ironic Surrealism. Der Führer is not happy:

Wait until he finds out about the raised co-pays…


Perspective: Building the #Obamacare web site vs winning WWII

November 9, 2013
D-day history

And yet Obama can’t build a working web site.

Via Twitchy, FOX’s Bret Baier read an email from a viewer on his show and then posted it to his web site. Obama and his fans liked to compare him to FDR. I wonder how they’ll like it now:

“Putting things in perspective: March 21st 2010 to October 1 2013 is 3 years, 6 months, 10 days.  December 7, 1941 to May 8, 1945 is 3 years, 5 months, 1 day.  What this means is that in the time we were attacked at Pearl Harbor to the day Germany surrendered is not enough time for this progressive federal government to build a working webpage.  Mobilization of millions, building tens of thousands of tanks,  planes, jeeps, subs, cruisers, destroyers, torpedoes, millions upon millions of guns, bombs, ammo, etc. Turning the tide in North Africa,  Invading Italy, D-Day,  Battle of the Bulge, Race to Berlin – all while we were also fighting the Japanese in the Pacific!!  And in that amount of time – this administration can’t build a working webpage.”

Boom.

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


Libertarian political humor

October 18, 2013

This passed through the Public Secrets inbox today. Already shared it on Twitter, but I thought I’d post it here. Not only is it funny, but it catches the Classical Liberal/modern Libertarian mindset nicely while poking gently at both progressives and (some strains of) conservatives. Enjoy:

satire Libertarians

 

As they say, “Heh!” Smiley Laughing Maniacal Clown


The secret message in the #Obamacare help number

October 2, 2013

Proof once again that there is a God, and He has a sense of humor. (Below the fold for a language warning):

Read the rest of this entry »


(Video) Grassroots groundswell: Help Obama start World War III!

September 11, 2013

This is danged funny:

Free Wi-Fi in my refugee camp? I am so there!  smiley thumbs up

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


Well, that made my day

August 18, 2013

Last night on Twitter, some Lefty posted a humorous message with the hashtag (1) #RepublicanOlympicEvents. And, indeed, it was mildly funny. Naturally, I decided I couldn’t let #P2 (2) have all the fun, so I posted a few with the hashtag #DemocratOlympicEvents. Here’s an example:

After two or three, I’d had my fun and signed off for the night. When I awoke this morning and logged on to the Public Secrets Official Laptop, my bleary eyes beheld this reply on Twitter:

Not just trending, but, as of this morning, number one in the USA, baby:

Trending

And, for the cherry on the sundae, it made Twitchy. You can read some of the best from other Twitterers (Twitterites? Twitterians?) there.

Yeah, it’s a small thing, but it made my Sunday morning. smiley cool hey babe

Footnotes:
(1) Hashtags are a quick way of searching for posts on a topic. If a user thinks his “tweet” is relevant, he includes the hashtag. The hashtag is a live hyperlink, and clicking on it will return a list of all posts that include it. As I understand it, they started as a way to track tweets related to a forest fire, but now people uses them for everything, including commentary and satire.
2) #P2 is a hashtag associated with liberals and leftists on Twitter, a mirror-image of the way #tcot is used for conservatives and #tlot for libertarians.


#Obamacare: If you like your health plan, you can keep your health plan. Maybe.

July 19, 2013

Gee, remember when the Obama, Pelosi, and the rest of the (Social) Democrats swore on a stack of Bibles Rules for Radicals that, under Obamacare, if you liked your doctor and liked your health plan, you could keep both?

Eh… not so much:

Among the questions that HHS recently added to the website: Can I keep my own doctor?:

“Depending on the plan you choose in the Marketplace, you may be able to keep your current doctor.”  The bottom line is that Obamacare guarantees neither. Doctors may be only available through certain networks, just as in the current system.  And only plans that existed in their current form on March 23, 2010, are even eligible to be “kept.” The vast majority of plans will be new, subject to a raft of new regulations, requirements, and restrictions.

And remember those people who believed the promises made by Obama, Pelosi, and the rest of the (Social) Democrats?

Suckers.

satire candy suckers


My heart bleeds for Big Labor. Really, it does.

July 15, 2013

It’s just that you can’t see that through all my laughing and pointing:

Like millions of other Americans, our members are front-line workers in the American economy. We have been strong supporters of the notion that all Americans should have access to quality, affordable health care. We have also been strong supporters of you. In campaign after campaign we have put boots on the ground, gone door-to-door to get out the vote, run phone banks and raised money to secure this vision.

Now this vision has come back to haunt us.

Since the ACA was enacted, we have been bringing our deep concerns to the Administration, seeking reasonable regulatory interpretations to the statute that would help prevent the destruction of non-profit health plans. As you both know first-hand, our persuasive arguments have been disregarded and met with a stone wall by the White House and the pertinent agencies. This is especially stinging because other stakeholders have repeatedly received successful interpretations for their respective grievances. Most disconcerting of course is last week’s huge accommodation for the employer community—extending the statutorily mandated “December 31, 2013” deadline for the employer mandate and penalties.

Time is running out: Congress wrote this law; we voted for you. We have a problem; you need to fix it. The unintended consequences of the ACA are severe. Perverse incentives are already creating nightmare scenarios:

First, the law creates an incentive for employers to keep employees’ work hours below 30 hours a week. Numerous employers have begun to cut workers’ hours to avoid this obligation, and many of them are doing so openly. The impact is two-fold: fewer hours means less pay while also losing our current health benefits.

That’s an excerpt from an open letter written by the heads of the Teamsters, UFCW, and UNITE-HERE unions, whining that Obamacare will hurt their members and that it’s unfair that businesses got a delay in implementation, but the loyal unionistas didn’t. Do read the whole thing and see if you can get through it without saying “We tried to warn you, you corrupt dummies!” several times.

I found it impossible.

I was going to go into a long diatribe about the unions reaping what they sowed, but Ed Morrissey (hat tip) kindly did it for me:

Maybe if they’d listened to Tea Party activists instead of shouting them down, the union leaders might have figured this out in 2009.  Opponents of the bill argued all along that the incentives presented by ObamaCare would kill employer-based coverage, either by depressing hiring or by depressing hours.  We’ve gotten both since the bill’s passage, just as critics predicted.

(…)

[RE: Obamacare's treatment of union group medical plans] Excuse me, but this was even more obvious than the employment consequences.  Subsidies are only available to consumers in the individual insurance exchanges.  Union health plans are group plans (and partly employer coverage, as the letter points out).  They’re no more eligible for subsidies than consumers in employer plans, and they’ll get taxed just like all other “Cadillac” group plans.  This is only news to those who manned the barricades rather than reading the fine print, or really any print at all.

Ed’s right, the union bosses should resign in disgrace for selling out their membership. But, they won’t. Mob bosses never go quietly. Meanwhile, I’m going to relax and enjoy the sweet scent of schadenfreude.

PS: If you’ve forgotten why I feel a special disdain and contempt for Jimmy Hoffa, jr., the Teamsters boss, let me remind you.

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


NYC Mayor @MikeBloomberg gets taste of his own medicine, but no pizza UPDATE: Sadly, it’s just satire.

May 2, 2013

I love it!

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza today at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn.

The owners of Collegno’s Pizzeria say they refused to serve him more than one piece to protest Bloomberg’s proposed soda ban,which would limit the portions of soda sold in the city.

Bloomberg was having an informal working lunch with city comptroller John Liu at the time and was enraged by the embarrassing prohibition. The owners would not relent, however, and the pair were forced to decamp to another restaurant to finish their meal.

Witnesses say the situation unfolded when as the two were looking over budget documents, they realized they needed more food than originally ordered.

“Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?” Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.

“I’m sorry sir,” he replied, “we can’t do that. You’ve reached your personal slice limit.”

Hey, Mikey! How does it feel to have someone telling what you can and can’t eat, you pint-sized statist tyrant?

Read the rest, with a language warning: Hizzoner doesn’t like being told “no.”

Makes me want to go to New York, just to give Collegno’s some thank-you business. smiley applause

via The Jawa Report

UPDATE: Just found out it was satire. Darn it. It’s one of those things that just should be true. :)

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


Al Gore: “Forget war and rumors of war! What about Gaea???”

April 30, 2013
The Goracle, Chief Priest of the Cult of Anthropogenic Global Warming

“Thou blaspheme by omission!”

President Obama had a press conference yesterday (which is a story of its own) in which he talked about war, the prison at Guantanamo Bay, and gay NBA players, but the High Priest of the Church of Global Warming, the Goracle himself, was not amused:

Tisk, tisk. Obama failed to acknowledge the grave threat from the hideous Demon of Man-Caused Climate Change, and so suffered a proper rebuke.

Kind of amusing, really. A narcissistic, supremely cynical, unqualified-for-the-job president being called on the carpet by a narcissistic, hypocritical con-artist who’s desperately fighting his own increasing irrelevance by demanding solutions to a problem that does not exist, but which is more important than all the many real problems facing the world. (1)

Locking these two in a room with each other might make for a good reality series.

via Bridget Johnson

Footnote:
(1) Except for gay NBA players, of course.

PS: Actually, it’s more like Pope Al is criticizing the journalists, but I’m sure he’s miffed at Obama for not bringing it up himself, as he did Jason Collins.


Genius: Maryland legislator proposes “Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act”

March 10, 2013
"Watch out! He's got a Pop-tart!!"

Protecting the right to keep and bear Pop-tarts

Proof once again that mockery is a wonderful weapon. In the wake of little Josh Welch getting in trouble with school officials for the horrible crime of biting his Pop-tart into the shape of a gun and playing with it, a Maryland lawmaker has introduced a bill to… Well, to tell school officials to stop being a bunch of idiots:

A Maryland state senator has crafted a bill to curb the zeal of public school officials who are tempted to suspend students as young as kindergarten for having things — or talking about things, or eating things — that represent guns, but aren’t actually anything like real guns.

Sen. J. B. Jennings, a Republican who represents Baltimore Harford Counties, introduced “The Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013? on Thursday, reports The Star Democrat.

Presumably the provisions of this bill would also protect the infamous toddler-terrorist in Pennsylvania who gave delicate school officials the vapors with her dreaded pink bubble-gun. Perhaps she should consider asking for asylum, if this bill goes through.

My favorite part of the legislation, however, is this:

The bill also includes a section mandating counseling for school officials who fail to distinguish between guns and things that resemble guns. School officials who fail to make such a distinction more than once would face discipline themselves.

Now I call that a useful law!  It’s a shame our education professionals seem to need it.

RELATED: More insane anti-gun hysteria from Dan Mitchell and Eric Owens.

via Sissy Willis and Iowahawk

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


(Video) Friday Funnies: “So God made a liberal”

February 8, 2013

You may have seen the Chrysler commercial during the Super Bowl that featured images of farmers while the voice-over was Paul Harvey reading his famous “So God made a farmer” essay. It was nice work.

But Sooper Mexican couldn’t resist having a little fun with it, so he created this: “So God made a liberal.”

And on the seventh day, He said: “What have I done?” smiley rofl

via Gateway Pundit

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


Quote of the Day: Bob #Menendez follies edition

February 1, 2013

Via Breitbart:

So a United States Senator slated to become Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee strong-arms the U.S. State Department to approve a 20-year, $1 billion federal contract for Dominican port security with a firm owned by a Florida opthamologist / Medicaid fraud with no security background who…

Read the rest for the punchline.

So true. So very maddeningly true.


#GunControl : Photo of the Day

January 16, 2013

In honor of the Biden commission’s “report” and the President’s signing of 23 executive orders in front of his human shields a group of children:

bg2

You’ll find many more at the PJM Tatler.

By the way, these children couldn’t attend, nor were they even mentioned.

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


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