Mumbai jihadi: "Wait, Obama won? Ooops!"

December 2, 2008

Iowahawk brings us the breaking news that the drooling sociopaths holy warriors who attacked Mumbai and massacred men, women, and children were themselves victims of a communications snafu — they wouldn’t have done it had they known Obama had won the election:

Ajmal Amir Kasab, the sole surviving member of the 10-man team of Pakistani gunmen that left hundreds dead or wounded after a bloody three day rampage in Mumbai, today blamed the mayhem on an "email mixup" that left him and his colleagues unaware that Barack Obama had won election as President of the United States.

"What? Oh bloody hell, now you tell me," said Kasab, as he was led away in handcuffs by Indian security forces.

Kasab, 21, apologized to Indian President Pratibha Patil, explaining that no one in his group had known about the recent U.S. election results.

"Boy, talk about having egg on the face," said a visibly embarrassed Kasab. "If we knew Bush was on his way out, obviously we would have called off the crazy random baby-shootings and martyrdom stuff, and signed on with the Peace Corps or Habitat for Humanity. At this point I guess all I can say is ‘my bad.’"

RELATED: A woman who might just believe this was real.


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Dissing the Great Unwashed

December 2, 2008

Looks like Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nitwit) has been reading his Bulwer-Lytton. Overjoyed at the prospect of not having his delicate olfactory sensors ravaged by the miasma emanating from –I shudder to even think it– tourists, Senator Reid (D-SqueakyClean) just couldn’t resist telling the press how happy he was:

The Capitol Visitors Center, which opened this morning, may have tripled its original budget and fallen years behind schedule, but Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid found a silver lining for members of Congress: tourists won’t offend them with their B.O. anymore.

"My staff tells me not to say this, but I’m going to say it anyway," said Reid in his remarks. "In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it’s true."

But it’s no longer going to be true, noted Reid, thanks to the air conditioned, indoor space.

And that’s not all. "We have many bathrooms here, as you can see," Reid continued. "Souvenirs are available."

You mean, like a bar of soap stamped with the Senate seal? Or maybe a can of Left Guard(tm), the approved deodorant of Hope and Change?

I think the smelly oiks voters in Nevada need to remind Harry he works for them, not the other way around.

After they take a shower and sprinkle themselves with rose water, of course.

Capitol tourist   Harry Reid
pigpen   Harry-Reid

Can’t you just smell the difference? Big Hug

(hat tip: The Jawa Report)

LINKS: Tigerhawk, Hot Air, Fausta. Michelle Malkin quotes a letter sent to Harry Reid (D-FootInMouth) by a smelly tourist.