A press release from the Czar of Czars:
WASHINGTON (Iowahawk Business PR Wire) — U.S. Government CEO Barack Obama announced today that his firm had embarked on a new joint venture with metaphysical industrial giant God, saying that “We are God’s partners in matters of life and death.”
“This partnership is a natural,” said Obama. “We both are unfathomably large, we both control people’s lives, we both work in mysterious ways, we both have a fanatical customer base. Instead of competing, it just made basic business sense to work together to become the premier developer of mission critical life-and-death operating systems.”
The announcement came before the annual GodCon trade show in Las Vegas, where Obama gave a product demo of the iGod heath care rationing device, the first of what he said would be “many development projects” between US Government and God. He encouraged independent God developers to support the closed-source iGod / iGov health care platform, warning that “woe be unto the unlicensed app developer, for he shall be smote by a vengeful hail of ACORNs.”
Other iGod apps currently in beta test include an end-of-life calculator, income leveler, and a wireless database detector for anti-government heretics and apostates.
Read the whole thing, citizen.