(People offended by foul language should click away, now.)
President Obama announced tonight something that any American with a pulse has prayed for, for nearly ten years:
OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD, AND WE KILLED THE SON OF A BITCH!!
For some reason, the President’s statement is not up on the White House web site’s front page, but here’s FOX on the event:
Usama bin Laden is dead, putting an end to the worldwide manhunt that began nearly a decade ago on Sept. 11, 2001. The architect of the deadliest terror attack on U.S. soil was killed a week ago inside Pakistan by a U.S. bomb.
President Obama announced the stunning development during an address to the nation late Sunday night from the White House.
“Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Usama bin Laden, the leader of Al Qaeda.”
And, according to Obama’s address to the nation, this was a ground operation: that means someone pointed the muzzle of a rifle at Osama and shot his goat-fucking ass to Hell. Give that man (or, God, I wish, a woman) a medal.
And, God in Heaven forgive me, I hope bin Laden suffered. I hope he called out to Allah and cried for his mother and shit his pants in fear… And then realized how hopeless it all was.
Oh, and the assault took place in Abbotabad, deep inside Pakistan, which means the Pakistani ISI knew all along where this lunatic medieval fuck was and refused to tell us. Guess what, bitches? We didn’t need you. In fact, we didn’t tell you about the operation until it was over. Take that and shove it up your double-dealing asses!
Politics is suspended until tomorrow. For now, congratulations to President Obama for ordering the operation, and all praise to the US operatives who carried this out at unimaginable risk to their own lives. As Ronald Reagan said, and Osama bin Laden learned tonight, “you can run, but you can’t hide.”
Oh, and you fucking jihadi shits who think you’re doing Allah’s work taking down Western civilization? Guess what?
We. Have. His. Body. No Islamic burial.
You’ve just been pwned, you Dark Ages pussies.
God, this feels good!
AFTERTHOUGHT: Yes, I know this is Obama’s night and he deserves praise for ordering the operation, but no small part of me wishes George W. Bush, after all he had been through, had had the chance to make this announcement himself. He earned it.