North Korea: At this rate, Kim is going to run out of people to shoot

August 12, 2015
"So many to choose from!"

“So many to choose from! Let’s shoot them all!”

But, really, the man had criticized Kim’s reforestation policy. Some things just cannot be tolerated, you know:

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un reportedly ordered the execution of the country’s vice premier earlier this year, South Korea’s Yonhap news agency reported Wednesday.

Citing unnamed sources, Yonhap reported Choe Yong-gon, 63, was shot dead in May this year after expressing “discomfort” over Kim’s forestation policy.

In a statement carried by the agency, South Korea’s Unification Ministry said: “Choe has not been seen publicly for about … eight months since he was last witnessed in December last year at the ceremony to mark the third anniversary of the death of North’s former leader Kim Jong Il.

“The government is closely watching to see what might have happened to him.”

North Korea is suffering from a massive drought, and Kim evidently ordered tree-planting to prevent soil erosion, but it wasn’t going fast enough to suit him. Big surprise for Leftists: Lysenko not withstanding, biology will not bend to crude human will. I’m guessing the late Vice-Premier made the mistake of pointing to Psycho III Dear Leader II that his plan was a bit… “unrealistic.”

In North Korea, that’s a bad career move.

Meanwhile, I’m worried about Kim. No, really! He’s had people machine gunned, fed to wild dogs, executed by anti-aircraft gunfire, mortared to death… If he’s only having them shot, now, he may be losing his touch.

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North Korea: Kim Jong-Un promotes poor fool to admiral

July 12, 2015
"I've got some bad news, boss..."

“Wait. We need another new defense minister??”

Considering the last holder of the office was executed by anti-aircraft gun for the crime of lèse-majesté (1), you have to wonder how thrilled the new guy was to get the big news:

A press release from North Korean state media, announcing a senior-level military meeting, called Pak Yong Sik the country’s defense minister.

This is the first time North Korea has publicly stated that Pak was serving in that role.

Hyon Yong Chol, the country’s last defense minister, was last mentioned by state media on April 29.

Chol was killed by fire from an anti-aircraft gun at a military school in front of hundreds of people in Pyongyang around April 30, the South Korean Intelligence Service (NIS) reportedly told members of its parliament.

The article notes that General Hyon might still be alive, meaning the story of the anti-aircraft gun was just Kim playing with our minds. Honestly, I kind of doubt that.

Regardless, I’d suggest to the new defense minister that he take No Doz before all meetings.

PS: Oh, come on. How many of you wouldn’t read that news and think immediately of Admiral Ozzel?

Footnote:
(1) Hey, the man fell asleep in the presence of his god. Some things cannot be tolerated.


Pudgy, nuclear-armed dictator shoots another official. Because he can.

July 8, 2015
"You are too short! banished!"

“You let my turtles die? You die!”

You think this guy knew the game was up the moment he saw Kim Jong Un’s first frown?

The manager of a terrapin farm who incurred the wrath of Kim Jong-un, the North Korean leader, has been executed.

State-run media released pictures in mid-May of a clearly furious Mr Kim berating officials of the Taedonggang Terrapin Farm after the dictator arrived to provide “field guidance”.

KCNA reported that the farm for breeding terrapins had been set up on the orders of Kim Jong-il, the father of the present ruler of North Korea, but all the baby terrapins in the tanks died.

The officials tried to explain that a lack of electricity meant that water could not be pumped into the tanks, while there were also shortages of feed for the terrapins.

Mr Kim was additionally outraged that part of the farm had not been set aside to “educate employees in the revolutionary history” of Kim Jong-il, KCNA reported.

The dictator dismissed the officials’ explanations, saying that “only sighs of defeatists come from units” that fail to “uphold and glorify the leadership exploits of the great leaders and the party”.

He added that their excuses about problems with water, electrical supplies and equipment were “nonsensical complaints”, the Daily NK web site reported.

Sources in Pyongyang told NK News that the manager of the terrapin farm was shot dead shortly after Mr Kim’s visit.

Pour encourager les autres, dontcha know?

And, please. A lack of electricity to provide fresh water to creatures that live in water, and a lack of feed for them? Did he really expect that to be a sufficient reason to let them die from polluted water and starvation? He was obviously a traitor and a counterrevolutionary South Korean-American Imperialist stooge. It’s a good thing Dear Leader Tiny Psycho III was there to ferret out his anti-terrapin sabotage!

Per the Telegraph article, is it any wonder that North Korean officials are starting to defect in large numbers? I’m only surprised no one’s drawn a pistol and shot this loon in an act of preemptive self-defense.

Via Rick Moran, who goes on to compare this lunatic regime to that in Tehran. The one we’re about to help get nuclear weapons, too.

I’ll be in my bunker in the Sierras.


And… North Korea creatively executes another general

May 13, 2015
"I've got some bad news, boss..."

“The dogs aren’t hungry? OK, get the AA squad!”

I’m beginning to think this is Kim Jong Un’s hobby: some people play Chess or collect stamps, he has generals who annoy him shot:

North Korea has publicly executed the country’s defense minister after the regime accused him of treason, according to South Korean news agency Yonhap.

Hyon Yong Chol was killed by firing squad using an anti-aircraft gun at a military school in front of hundreds of people in Pyongyang around April 30, the agency reported, citing a media briefing by the National Intelligence Service at its headquarters in Seoul.

Hyon “was purged for lese majeste” because he was seen “dozing off” during a military event and “did not carry out Kim’s instructions,” the agency said. It wasn’t clear what instructions Hyon failed to carry out.

With “an anti-aircraft gun.” (pause) (imagines) The guy was probably obliterated by the first round.

Like I said, I’m beginning to think this is not just a way for Kim to make sure the army doesn’t even think of trying to overthrow him (1), but that this is his recreation. I mean, why else think of so many bizarre ways to kill someone when a bullet to the head will do, unless you think it’s entertaining? We’ve seen execution by mortar, by flamethrower, and by being thrown to the dogs. Execution by machine gun seems almost pedestrian by comparison, unless one is wasting an ex-girlfriend in the process.

Not that I feel all that sorry for the late General Hyon. Let’s face it, he had prospered under a Stalinist tyranny that has to rank as one of worst in human history. He was, up until the moment of his arrest, one of the elite: he almost certainly enjoyed good food, a nice apartment or even a home, car and driver, and probably some graft privileges. He was an elite in a regime that runs the world’s largest prison camp masquerading as a nation, in which not only are thousands sent to horrid prison camps on the flimsiest of pretexts, but their families, too. Whole generations of people are born in those hellholes knowing nothing but a living Hell. And while I’m not familiar with Minister Hyon’s career, I wouldn’t be surprised he had denounced people a time or two along the way, nor that he dutifully cheered when someone else got the ax.

So, no, I don’t have much sympathy for the capo when the Godfather finally decides to whack him. Risks of the job and all that. But I do hope he had no young family members, who otherwise are likely on their way to the North Korean gulag.

Footnote:
(1) Yet again I have to wonder if some general or generals aren’t —very quietly and very privately— considering taking out Kim before he decides they need to meet the firing squad. With a “Dear Leader” this bloodthirsty, it would seem a necessity of survival.

 


Dear United Nations: shove it where the sun of your sanctimony doesn’t shine

July 8, 2011

You have absolutely no moral authority to lecture us about breaking international law.


The next wave in death-penalty efficiency: mobile execution vans!

July 8, 2011

Okay, I generally favor the death penalty in a restricted number of cases and when there is overwhelming evidence of guilt: there are crimes so terrible that the only the death of the offender will bring justice. And it frustrates me no end when states like my own California let the number of death-row inmates awaiting execution skyrocket because of almost endless and often frivolous appeals. Justice delayed is justice denied.

But, as much as I favor speeding up the process (while respecting the legitimate rights of the condemned), even I became squeamish when I learned of China’s mobile execution vans:

“Makers of the death vans say the vehicles and injections are a civilized alternative to the firing squad, ending the life of the condemned more quickly, clinically and safely. The switch from gunshots to injections is a sign that China “promotes human rights now,” says Kang Zhongwen, who designed the Jinguan Automobile death van in which “Devil” Zhang took his final ride.”

Click through for a picture.

Somehow the idea of making execution as convenient as calling the mobile dog-groomer is a bit appalling, no?

The article points out that China executes three times as many people as the rest of the world, thus there’s pressure to make them more efficient. China also executes criminals for more crimes than most nations: while they recently took 13 off the list, there are still 55 capital crimes — including official corruption.

I wonder if the “death van” comes with air-conditioning?

via someone on Twitter. Sorry, lost the link.

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


I guess the soccer team was lucky

July 21, 2010

Don't let me down!

All that happened to them for a humiliating loss in the World Cup was a trip to the mines. Now, with Pyongyang’s attempts to extort bribes at rapprochement with South Korea in tatters over the sinking of the Cheonan (Come on, what’s an act of war among friends?), the official in charge of negotiations with the South has been shot:

North Korea executed a former Cabinet official who was in charge of talks with South Korea, a news report said Tuesday, the latest reported death sentence for a North Korean official over policy failures.

Kwon Ho Ung — Pyongyang’s chief delegate from 2004 to 2007 for ministerial talks with the South’s then liberal government — was executed by firing squad, Seoul’s mass-circulation Dong-a Ilbo newspaper said, citing an unidentified source in Beijing knowledgeable about the North.

Calls to South Korea’s intelligence agency and the Unification Ministry, which handles relations with North Korea, seeking comment went unanswered.

The reported execution comes as tensions between the two Koreas simmer over the March sinking of a South Korean warship that has been blamed on North Korea. North Korea has denied involvement in the sinking, which killed 46 South Korean sailors.

Relations between the Koreas have been particularly rocky since a pro-U.S., conservative government took office in Seoul in early 2008 with a tough policy on Pyongyang.

The newspaper report said it had not confirmed when and where Kwon was executed. The allegation follows other reported executions of North Korean officials for policy blunders.

Since all policy originates with the Kim Jong-Il, shouldn’t he have himself shot for these failures?

The world should be so lucky.

(via The Jawa Report)

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)