Your tax dollars at work: FEMA prepares for alien invasion!

October 29, 2011

Fools! Don’t they know they’re already here? Isn’t Dennis Kucinich proof enough?

Still, it’s comforting to know that the Federal Emergency Management Agency has prepared instructions for firefighters on what to do in case space aliens attack (1):

Can’t wait to see what they have in mind for when the Mole People strike… 

Footnote:
(1) I for one welcome our new Extraterrestrial Overlords; they have to be an improvement over the current crop!

(Crossposted at Sister Toldjah)


Ambassador to the stars

October 3, 2010

Literally. The United Nations has appointed a Malaysian astrophysicist to be Earth’s representative when the aliens finally land:

Mazlan Othman, the head of the UN’s little-known Office for Outer Space Affairs (Unoosa), is to describe her potential new role next week at a scientific conference at the Royal Society’s Kavli conference centre in Buckinghamshire.

She is scheduled to tell delegates that the recent discovery of hundreds of planets around other stars has made the detection of extraterrestrial life more likely than ever before – and that means the UN must be ready to coordinate humanity’s response to any “first contact”.

During a talk Othman gave recently to fellow scientists, she said: “The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day humankind will receive signals from extraterrestrials.

“When we do, we should have in place a coordinated response that takes into account all the sensitivities related to the subject. The UN is a ready-made mechanism for such coordination.”

Two observations: first, I hope this isn’t a paid position. Second, given the abominable track record of the United Nations, do we really want them handling our first contact with extraterrestrials?

Okay, one more: What? Dennis Kucinich wasn’t available?